If you aren't wasted, your day is!

After a long week of weight lifting, making good nutritional choices, and just plain old staying on the straight and narrow path there comes a time where you need to just put that nonsense behind you and show your true colors.  I'm talking about 3 days of nonstop booze, strippers, bar fights, and broken bottles. I have designed this section of my site for those like myself who enjoy partying all night and Rock N Rollin all day.  I would like to welcome you to Motley Crue weekends.  Fuck yah!

Well lets start out with the basics.  First things first, you are going to need lots of booze to fuel your weekend.  You'll find that once you get locked into a booze bender, your tendecy is to push it to this limits.  Here is what i reccommend you keep stocked at all times:

BOOZE RECCOMMENDATIONS!!!

Bacardi Limon
Meyers Dark Rum
Bacardi 151
Malibu Rum
Vodka
Red Bull (lots of it)
Miller Lite (a requirement, not a reccommendation)
Jagermeister
Orange, Grapefruit, and Pineapple Juice
Grenadine
Strega (The Witch)
Fernet Branca
Cynar

Now this list isn't all inclusive, but it will get you a good start. If you have classy friends like me, they prefer a good 10 - 20 drinks in any give night.  It's important to have plenty of liquor and girls on hand at a moments notice.

 

Now that you have hundreds of dollars worth of spirits on hand you all are probably wondering what to do with them. My vast experience with my mixed drinks will help you produce the hottest highballs around today.  Here are some of my favoraite drinks:

The Hurricane - 1 oz  Bacardi Limon - 1 oz  Malibu rum - 1 oz  Meyer's dark rum - 1 oz  151 Rum - 3 splash(es) Orange Juice - 3 splash(es) Grapefruit Juice - 3 splash(es) Pineapple Juice - 2 splash(es) Grenadine Directions/Comments: Pour rums into a tall glass with ice. Add the pineapple and grapefruit juices, then top with granadine.	Singapore Sling 1/2 oz Cherry brandy 1/2 oz Grenadine 1 oz Gin 2 oz Sweet and sour Carbonated water 1 Cherry Directions/Comments: Pour grenadine, gin, and sweet and sour into a collins glass over ice cubes and stir well. Fill with carbonated water and top with cherry brandy. Add the cherry on top and serve.
Dead Nazi 2/3 oz Rumple Minze 2/3 oz Jagermeister Directions/Comments: pour rumple minze(should be pre chilled) into shot glass add jager(should also be pre chilled), serve	Irish Car Bomb - 1/2 pint(s) Guinness Beer - 1/2 oz Bailey's Irish Cream - 1/2 oz Irish Whiskey Directions/Comments: Mix the Bailey's and the whiskey in a shot glass, drop it in the Guinness, and chug.

One drink that gets special recognition is the holy grail of all mixed drinks.  The Red Bull & Vodka, or as I like to fondly call them, Rebeccas. This is probably the drink of the century.  It will keep the party going all night and will also get you nice and crunk.  The only problem is when you wake up the the next morning. As your stomach turns you realize drinking 12 red bulls the night before probably wasn't the best idea, until you roll over and look on the floor to find your pinstriped shirt laying next to the victorias secret.  Then you notice the supermodel sleeping next to you.  Hell yah!

+ =

 

The next order of business is partying with the right crew.  If you are hanging out with the wrong people women will not flock to you and you will not be able to attend the hottest clubs.  You won't be poppin' bottles and screwing models.  You'll be down at the local townie bar with all of the Iowa City West townies drinking Busch Light and Bud heavy talking about the 1999 state championsip football team.  I will now show some images for you to get a better idea of who not to associate with.

These are the type of guys you find hanging out at the Union, or even worse, It's Brothers.  A bunch of low lifes who will go anywhere with free cover. Avoid these guys like the plague	I think Dean Wormer said it best when he said fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life.
Don't hang out with guys like this, he will bring extreme pain to the game	This is what I call the dormie.  He lives in a dorm and every once in awhile will get a bottle of hard liquor.  Then he goes wild and acts like an idiot.  The only time you want to hang out with this guy is when you are visiting him at his dorm.  Then you will get introduced to hot girls and will look like a stud compared to this guy.

 

 

Hangover Cures!

Now after 3 days of poisoning your body non-stop there comes a time where you need to put your body through a sudden detox and recharge your batteries to negative.  This is what is known as a hangover.  Now the best cure for a hangover is just for you to simply to bite the dog that bit you and start drinking again. Unfortunately you need to come down sometime. I have had hundreds of hangover and I will detail for you the sure proof way to feel like a million bucks.

Now about a year and a half ago I worked at a job which required me to work saturday and sundays.  The problem is, the job was selling exercise equipment, so I couldn't really look like I only got 3 hours of sleep the night before (which I only did).  Luckily for me, I would always stay at my ex-girlfriend's apartment most of the weekend. The location was next to the store which holds the best hangover cures ever: Handimart.  This kept me in the game and allowed me to perform at my best while feeling the worst.

Basically all you will need to do is find your closest Handimart convenience store.  Once inside here is what you need to buy:

A Big Guz of Diet Mountain Dew
2 or 3 Krispy Creme donuts
A Hot Dog

Eat the hot dog first, then work on the donuts.  Wash it all down with the diet mountain dew, and I can promise you that you will feel like a new person by the time the dew is gone!

 

Well folks that about wraps it up for the Motley Crue weekends section for now.  Check back as I update and bring fresh ideas and perspectives to partying like a rock star. Ridiculous Nicholas out -